I sit in a yellow cubicle
And I type at an orange screen.
And I'll get a raise next Tuesday
If I can keep my office clean!
The women here ignore me.
They call me "Scrawny Dan".
But that's because they don't know me,
They don't know who I really am!

I AM CHEWBACCA!!! I AM A WOOKIE!!!
I FIGHT THE EMPIRE!!! I FIX THE ROBOTS!!!
DON'T FUCKING CROSS ME!!! I AM CHEWBACCA!!!
IN NEED OF NO ONE!!! IN WANT OF NOTHING!!!

I AM CHEWBACCA!!! I HAVE NO HOME!!!
MY HOME IS WHERE MY SPIRIT GOES!!!
DON'T FUCKING TAUNT ME!!! 'CAUSE I'M CHEWBACCA!!!
I'LL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!!! I'LL KILL YOUR FRIEND!!!

I think about my home planet
When I'm in the conference room.
I wear a coat and tie
But my heart is filled with gloom!
'Cause that faggot on the Death Star
Would like to see me dead!
Someday I'll tear off his black helmet
And take a dump on his fuckin' head!

I AM CHEWBACCA!!! I AM A WOOKIE!!!
I FIGHT THE EMPIRE!!! ON THE MILLENNIUM FALCON!!!
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??? YOU WANT A PIECE OF CHEWBACCA???
I'M EIGHT FEET TALL!!! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!

I AM CHEWBACCA!!! I'VE GOT NO HOME!!!
MY HOME IS WHERE MY SPIRIT GOES!!!
YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF!!! I AM CHEWBACCA!!!
KISS MY ASS!!! EAT SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

MOTHERFUCKER!!!
MOTHERFUCKAAA!!!
MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAA!!!